By Roya Monajem, Tehran
Perhaps one of the most unromantic definitions of love belongs to Nietzche: love as the eternal war (mortal hatred) between the sexes. It can sound even repulsive. Unfortunately though, a glance at what is going on in the majority of the so-called love relationships could testify the truth in Nietzche's definition of love.
What may really be the causes of such a war, such mortal hatred?
In the same book, Ecche Homo, and the same chapter, Nietzche makes another statement that clearly hints at the cause of such a war. He says that in nature women are superior to men. Now considering the fact that in the natural division of labor, the task of survival is mainly a feminine task, therefore, women should be superior meaning that they should enjoy a more efficient immuno-physiological system. In Nietzche's words, males are only an instrument in this respect.
Thus, from a masculine point of view, such natural feminine superiority may very well be the cause of that hatred and war. But what about women? What may be the cause of their hatred toward the opposite sex?
The most obvious reason that immediately comes to mind is the patriarchal religious social cultural framework dominating the world since the beginning of history with its resulting inequalities between the sexes. The extent of these religious, cultural and social inequalities is so wide that we can even speculate that the formation of patriarchal societies may be an unconscious reaction (revenge) of the naturally inferior sex! But enough has been said about these societies by feminists. What I would like to explore here is the deepest probable core for this hatred.
For that the first appropriate question is what is that masculine quality that females lack and for that they can be hateful to the opposite sex?
The most obvious answer is that females are naturally physically weaker. And what is the immediate consequence of this weaker physical strength? Fear of the stronger.
There can be little doubt that the most basic feminine fear is the "fear of getting raped and pregnant." Such a fear does not exist in males. Males' immediate fear in this respect can only be "not to find a woman to rape at least!" Of course, this does not mean that males can not be raped by females. The technique used is different. We have a very specific feminine quality called allurement, which is the technique used by Eve against Adam in Heavens! However, there is a little difference between these two techniques. First of all, while the end result of allurement is not always what is intended, in other words, it may fail, when there is the question of physical power, the end result is always the victory of the more powerful. Secondly, males can not become pregnant! 
Going back to the subject of love as the war between the sexes, from what has been said we can conclude that the root of this war is on one hand, the feminine natural survival superiority and on the other hand, the masculine natural physical superiority. In the language of psychology, men suffer from a natural inferiority complex while women suffer from congenital insecurity. This is enough to start and feed an 'eternal war between the sexes,' is it not? But as Nietzche says the hatred should be 'mortal' in order to allow survival of the species. So as much as males can hate females for being the more favored sex by nature, females can hate males for being a potential threat to their lives, security and safety.
If from one perspective, the rise of patriarchal
societies is an unconscious masculine reaction to feminine natural
(survival-wise) superiority, what can be the effects of that inborn feminine
insecurity on her psychology and thus the society?
Any insecure person needs a protector. As his/her survival is dependent on this, he/she is ready to compromise whatever necessary. For example, for years I wondered how could Arab mothers allow their husbands to burry alive their newly born girls? And after I became a mother, the question became harder to answer. It sounded like an earthquake to The Myth of Mother - that all-sacrificing human figure. But let us leave the genders alone for the time being, and ask the above question in this way: what was there to make humans to act so 'un-naturally?' To commit such barbarian act?
Today, we know about the barbarians much more than our ancestors who called a group of human beings as barbarians, no matter where they were on earth. Today, after closer observations of still existing Barbarians, one conclusion is that they seem to be the most un-barbarian race of human species. Cannibals are not some animals, but they do such cruel acts because of their beliefs. How come when it comes to the so-called civilized people, the same belief (to act according to one's beliefs) is considered sacred, sacrificial, truly religious (Christians, Moslems, Hindus and... they all agree on this single point.)? So holy to be killed for one's beliefs! That's how soldiers have been sent to wars throughout history... Coalition forces are now getting killed in Iraq in their great struggle to enforce "democracy" and...
It seems impossible to remain apolitical, or un-cannibal!
Let's go back to the war between the sexes called love! Let's get to the true Cannibals - male and females - in their 'lovely' relationships.
We were asking how could humans act so un-naturally and kill their own children - like cannibals. A closer look at nature, shows that such 'un-natural' things - life rising against life in the same species - does happen in nature every now and then. For example, lemurs collectively commit suicide in case of overpopulation and lack of food. Old swans commit suicide and...This can be the same instinct operating in those Arab - fathers and mothers - particularly now that those of us who no longer knows what is good and what is bad, what is wrong and what is right know that as all nomadic "barbarians" living under such harsh conditions - deserts- those Arabs were closer to nature at that time. They acted more naturally. They had to - in order to survive such harsh conditions. So it is possible that what made those Arab men to bury alive their newly born daughters and Arab mothers watched the whole process without protest, was simply the survival instinct. They were just acting instinctively. Perhaps like lemurs they wanted to keep their species - 'race' - alive. Too many females requires at least as many men to protect them. "Too many women" creates danger for the survival of the race. Even during the times of opulence -when there is enough water and food - when the men of other tribes hear that their neighbors, each have enough food and more than one female around, they will be tempted to attack those damn lucky neighbors! Let's accept Humans find it difficult to see other Humans Happy! They become jealous! It seems this is in their Nature and through holes in the Ozone layer we are just learning that we cannot fight nature if we want to stay alive. Like all the human species, those Arabs wanted to save their race, so they killed girls at the time of scarcity of food -that was a great problem before invasion of Persia, north Africa and part of Europe - and overpopulation of women. It is only today and by virtue of high technology that over-population of women no longer creates that much problem. They too can fight. No physical strength is needed to sit behind a machine gun and kill others. Let's accept that in those times 'too many women' could be an anti-survival factor.
Since this is in fact a news-site and the shorter the news to make us up to date, the better, let's cut this 'lovely' discussion of war between the sexes here and in order not to forget the main point, let's make this final conclusion.
Nietzche makes his definition of love - 'eternal war between the sexes'- on the basis of survival instinct. The mental cause for this war is the natural superiority of females and physical superiority of males; and the consequences? Just watch our lives.
1. In an article published in the last issue of MSF newsletter, it is said: "In the early 1990s, systematic rape was used as a weapon of war first in Bosnia (women were raped and then sequestered so they could give birth to a "Serbian baby") and then in Rwanda (with the systematic rape of Tutsi women - between 300,000 and 500,000 female survivors of the genocide are thought to have been raped."
2. This in itself can answer another puzzling question. Why have prostitutes surrendered to pimps? Why have they been ready to pay up to two thirds of their 'salary' to a man? They have surrendered because they need a male protector (or an old competent awe-inspiring female - probably due to her reliable influential male protectors) to protect them from all kinds of possible abuses that men can impose on women only because of their greater physical strength.
... Payvand News - 4/16/04 ... --