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By Roya Monajem, Tehran

This can be the last piece that appears at Roya's Corner, as Roya is going through a transition of perhaps making a distinction between Dream (roya in Persian) and Reality, finally after nearly half century of life.

When Roya was younger, she didn't like to see anybody having the same forename. Later, as she grew up and started to wonder whether names play a role in the events that happen in one's life; she got interested to see other people called Roya. She wanted to see whether they have the same difficulty in distinguishing Dream and Reality or not. Do others with different names make a better distinction between these two categories? Do you?

Thanks to Mirce Elliade who made the meaning of Maya understandable for me. It even made Berkeley's idealism sound real. In his Myths, Dreams and Mysteries, Elliade says that when we compare the life on earth with light years, then it appears as though this world, this life do not exist. That is why it is called Maya, something that does not exist. If the world, apparently much endurable and lasting than all the creatures living on its gracious breast, does not "truly" exist, then do we exist? Is this really called existence? But let's leave light years alone and come back to this blue planet of ours. Then I just can see Roya as a robot programmed by her family and society in the first few years of her life, and then leading a conditioned mechanical life accordingly ever since. (You give me the history of your childhood, whether you were welcomed to this world at birth, and what happened afterwards in your childhood; even not that, but just tell me what are your present pains and sufferings, and I promise you that I most probably can describe what sort of conditioned machine you can be.)

Who are we really? What are we doing on this earth, in this life? Is this just a dream or some reality? Are we really awake or asleep? What does it mean to be awake? What sort of quality is there to help us to distinguish between the two?

For this, let us first take an ordinary day of our lives and ask ourselves whether we are actually leaving a wakeful state of being responding to life circumstances as a truly awake person or do we actually live a robot-like life?

Each one of us, likes to sleep in our own habitual way god knows since when, and every morning after waking up, we put the same foot out of bed first and we stand up as usual (forget the exceptional days when something out of ordinary routine has happened) and we wash our face just like as always and then we dress as always and before leaving the house, we might be in the habit of kissing our children or spouse which we happily do, and we go to work as always. There too we do exactly as we always do. Just like a sleepwalker. Don't we? Are we awake or asleep, then?

From this point of view, what is called waking consciousness is a robotic consciousness. Is it not? We apparently wake up, but continue the waking state as though we are sleepwalkers. Don't we really? Where are we when we leave the bed and start the daily routine? Do we ever taste our morning tea or coffee? Do we ever notice the smell of the bread? Do we really look at those with whom we share home? Do we know what is the color of their eyes?

Do I have to ask more question to prove that we just think that we are awake? To be awake means to be aware of whatever we do. I personally can stay in this state for not more than couples of minutes. I sat to write down this perhaps last piece with the intention to stay awake and be aware of how my fingers are moving on the keyboard, feel them and feel how the thoughts take shape in what is called Mind or Brain, how they pour on the monitor and...

And I kept forgetting to keep my promise of staying awake all the time. And I feel ashamed of myself for wasting your time reading the stuff that a conditioned sleepwalker who thinks and hopes her sharing would touch you in a positive way, writes.

So let's ask Payvand's editor to delete the sign Roya's Corner at least as far as Roya is realizing what a dream world she is living in, if she ever does.

Good luck to all.

... Payvand News - 3/28/05 ... --

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